im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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