When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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