it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
