I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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