You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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