we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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