All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
