Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I didn't notice because vodka
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
