Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
