I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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