i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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