my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
