I hate your face
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
