She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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