That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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