I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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