We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
