We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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