I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize