glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
