After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I will pee on everything he values.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
