For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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