just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
