I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Randomize
