Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
