Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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