Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
