is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
