I need help removing her.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
