I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
