Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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