I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
then he tried to convert me to islam
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
