it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I am available for nakedness
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
