Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
