She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
