I wanna passion pit in your ass
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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