Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
