I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i barfeds in our rink
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize