So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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