what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Randomize
