there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize