I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
