I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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