i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
