Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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