Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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