I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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