He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
