he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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