do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
