Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
