I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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