After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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