come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
