I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she smelled like a LAN party
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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