It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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