Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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