so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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