We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize