I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
