I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
