She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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