I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
