You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
