Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
