Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
