I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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