you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize