if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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