only if we run a train.
done.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
